Blog

2024-03-04

Forgiving an affair – is that possible?

Many marriages and relationships do not communicate their problems to the outside world. For good reasons! An affair is rarely discussed among friends. Unless she was exposed publicly or the couple broke up. Then that ex-relationship becomes fodder for gossip for a while and many position themselves as “relationship experts” whether they are in a relationship or not.

For many who have stayed together, no one knows about the true challenges the couple has had to overcome. Often no one even knows about a crisis. People don’t want advice that doesn’t help them and don’t want to justify why they didn’t just throw out the “cheater” or “bitch.”

….a lot of other, more demanding cases:
The cheated fight for the relationship alone because the cheating partner is full of guilt, refuses to talk about it and definitely doesn’t want to go to couples counseling.
The betrayed partner falls completely into a victim mentality and adult, open conversations are not possible.
The affair continues and the third person needs to be integrated into the relationship somehow.
The affair resulted in a child, the affair partner is in the immediate vicinity, etc…

Most often, an affair occurs when you feel like you’re not getting something from your partner that you need.

Whether people cheat also depends heavily on the relationship they have. “The most common reason for an affair is when you have the feeling that you are not getting something from your partner that you need,” says the expert. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be sex that you’re missing in your relationship - even if you feel like you’re not getting enough attention or care, that can be the trigger for you to look for it elsewhere.

It’s worth a try
After a long relationship in which you are attached to each other despite this new situation and do each other good, you can give your partner a second chance. It doesn’t guarantee that the relationship will last forever; sometimes the separation is delayed. But your partner can now learn from it and know what he/she has in you and realize that he/she does want to share life with you.
Rather not
In relationships that were already difficult, you should think long-term and be aware that such a situation is very stressful. You should be clear about what you really want from a partner and whether both parties have the same understanding of a happy relationship. If that’s not the case and you’re actually unhappy - even if you want to forgive your partner - then you should take your happiness into your own hands and break up sooner!

The fact is:

The more stable, satisfied and established a person is, the happier they are with themselves and their actions, the better they are as a relationship partner.